Restating your questions - Your questions contain your answers.
A simple play of words can reveal a more powerful question leading to solutions, not blame.
Let’s imagine for a moment that you are affected by an autoimmune thyroid disease called Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. Let’s also assume that you also have basic knowledge of the best solutions for this condition (you have been listening to Thyroid Summits, you follow the Medical Medium on Instagram, you read Dr. Amy Meyer’s book on thyroid, and you implemented their basics into your life).
After a few months of feeling better, but the “life happens” and you suddenly start to feel worse. Maybe you ate something you weren’t supposed to, because you had a stressful event in your life and at that time it felt good to eat that comfort food. Maybe you kinda stopped going to bed early and now you get less sleep. Maybe you also couldn’t afford your supplements anymore, so you switched brands to save money. You do not make the connection at first, but just a few changes in your life happening all at once threw you out of that beautiful healing state you were in.
You start to wake up more tired, you gain a few pounds, you also notice that your skin looks worse, and that you do not have the same levels of energy as before.
You ask yourself this every morning now:
“Am I never going to get better? Do I always have to fail soon after things start to get better? Why does this keep happening to me? What am I doing wrong?”.
Do you recognize how these questions make you both the victim and the one to blame? It does not feel good to be in this situation, and it definitely does not inspire you to find solution when you are in this state.
What can you do to redirect these questions towards solutions, and away from blame and victimhood?
How can you ask the same questions a little differently to open your perception to new solutions, steer away from self-blame, and a gently release yourself from being a victim?
How can you gain your power back?
The easiest way to get out of this funk, after you acknowledged that you are there, is to restate your questions in such way, that now they actually point into the direction of a solution.
Those new question will be curious, open, exploratory, reassessing, and expansive.
“Why I am so tired?” can be restated to “What can I do now to feel more energized?”.
Another good example is going form “How did I deserve this illness?” to “How my actions allowed for the current state I am in?” or better yet “Where do I need to pick up responsibility in order to change my current condition?”.
So, to go from “Am I never going to get better? Do I always have to fail soon after things start to get better? Why does this keep happening to me? What am I doing wrong?” ask yourself this:
-healing takes time. Did I get sick in 3 months or did it take more time? How can I more patient with the process? What kind of support do I need to ask for to make this process more bearable?
-if I knew what I know now back when I made that decision, would I chose differently? Now, knowing that I did not have the same knowledge back then, how can I find compassion for my old self from my current perspective in life?
-what can I do to nourish myself now? What would feel nourishing to me?
-was the old protocol making me feel limited? Was it really aligned with my goals? How can I design a plan that feels good to execute to me?
-who am I pleasing by following rules? Who am I healing for, really? How does my definition of health and healing look and feel like? How can I align with that vision?
It is OK to feel discouraged and temporarily lose sight of the big picture in the moment of life’s mishaps. I am not asking you to deny how you feel. Acknowledge your emotions. Sit with them. And when you feel ready to do something about your current situation- chose to do so, by restating your previous blaming questions.
You always have a power of choice- you can choose what you think.
When you feel ready, or when you feel like you are very running fast in one place, or when you feel like you have no sense of direction anymore, or when you are ready to change your situation, then use this technique and see where it leads you.
Write down your most repeated questions that you have no answers to and restate them in a few different ways.
Restate them using words such as “how” and “which” and “what can I do” or “if I could” rather than asking “why”.
Do not expect yourself to know answers right away. This tool is designed to change your habitual thinking and blaming yourself, so stick to creating new, better questions first. Once you have 3 or more new questions, take a break, and come back to your new questions ready to EXPLORE the possible answers. Write down at least 3 answers per question.
Read over your answers and see if a pattern emerges. What do your answers point towards? What stressors are they dancing around? What do you notice about the tone of your answers?
What new clarity about yourself have you been able to discover through this exercise?
I teach this technique and go over the new questions and answers with my clients enrolled in my programs.
If you’d like to discover more tools like this and finally move past your biggest blocks on your path of healing, schedule your first call with me here!
I can’t wait to connect with you!